Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Guest Post: I Work Out

One of our clients has a pretty hilarious blog, where she talks about dating, beauty, fashion, dating, and just about everything else. She finally decided to write one about us.

I Work Out

"So, for those that don't know - I have a trainer, well actually I have two. They tag team the torture. My trainer or coach as he prefers to be called runs All Out Effort. I've spent a lot of time molding them into doing things my way. I now have a very positive mindset when I train.

An AOE workout

  1. Set appointment with Sam (Coach and Owner)
  2. Negotiate time that is not ridiculous o’clock in the morning
  3. Agree to ridiculous o’clock time in the morning
  4. Dread all week
  5. Alarm goes off. Weep softly. Get up and vow not to do this again
  6. Arrive in middle of night - read sign on entrance regarding negative thoughts and leaving them there at the door
  7. Punch sign in its stupid positive face
  8. Come in and grunt greetings at other poor souls
  9. Start foot stretches on rocks and tennis balls. Complete and tell Sam you think that’s enough for one day
  10. Apparently he does not
  11. Continue with workout. Against better judgment
  12. Start foam roll routine and remind self that this is painful but doesn’t compare with what’s to come. Rest head gently on foam roller, just for a minute. Get caught…
  13. Start Mobility exercises: roll around on floor, trying to look mobile. Ask for help up off floor.
  14. Choose one of the lesser of three evils: Treadmill, Climber, Bike. Choose lying on floor for quick disco nap. Get up off floor after being told that is not an option.
  15. Start workout: swings (recommend that everyone ducks, those kettlebells have a habit of leaving my hand. Mostly because I let go of them. On purpose), planks (the exercise that everyone thinks they look good doing. And don’t), rolly ball ab agony things (I think you know what I mean), squats (where once you get down there, going up is not all it's cracked up to be) and everyone’s favorite, stupid burpees (right?). Wonder how I can possibly go on...
  16. Put $1 in "Whine Bucket". Protest about legitimacy of whine. Put another $1 in.
  17. Hear those precious words: You can stretch now.
  18. Consider the alternative: work-out with Cindy (Coach 2). Decide to leave that for another day. Called never."

Read more at: SpecialK: Nothing on this blog will be of any use to you.
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