Thursday, July 18, 2013

The "What Else You Got" Syndrome

An overweight man climbed up a mountain

Pouring sweat, tired, near death.

At the top of the mountain was a guru.

The man approached the guru and said, "I've climbed for many days to come to ask for your help."

The guru replied, "What do you need?"

The man responded, "I've been overweight my whole life, I will do ANYTHING to lose the weight. Please help me."

The guru thought about it for a moment, then told the man, "Come back tomorrow and I will help you."

The overweight man came back the next day, the guru was waiting.

The guru handed the man a scroll, "If you do everything written on this scroll, you will lose the weight and get the body you want."

The man thanked the guru profusely and left the mountain in joy.

Three months have passed

The guru was in deep meditation, but was suddenly interrupted by the return of the man.

The man was slimmer, but still overweight.

The man approached the guru, "I did what you said, and it kind of worked. But I'm still not where I want to be. What else you got?"

The guru responded, "You did everything on the scroll?"

The man responded, "Yes."

The guru asked again, "You did everything on the scroll?"

The man responded, "I did 80% of it...80% of the time. So now I need a new plan. What else you got?"

"Why didn't you follow everything on the scroll?"

"It took too much self control. I need a plan where I don't need as much self control. Something easier. Something magical."

"You want a plan that you can't sabotage? You want a plan that will protect you from you?"

The man emphatically responded, "YES!"

The guru reminded the man what he had said, "You said you would do anything."

The man pondered what the guru had just said.

The guru picked up a rock and tapped it, "You are like this rock. Hard to penetrate. We can break some pieces off, but it is difficult and damaging. Come back when you are like a sponge."

The man responded, "A sponge? Doesn't it just get fatter the more wet it becomes? I don't think you know what you're talking about. My friend knows a guy who lost weight on a juice cleanse, I'm going to do that."

The man left upset, the guru shook his head and continued his meditation

From a distance, another overweight man was climbing the mountain. Behind him another, and another. At the bottom of the mountain was a line of people.

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